I don't crave you in the morning,

It’s so easy to become addicted. To substances, to people, relationships, emotional states, physical experiences—— to feeling “good”. We will do anything to feel good, even if it’s just for a moment; even if it costs us a lot more than it’s worth. We’ll feel good for a minute and then feel bad about feeling good and then we’ll decide to stay away from the things that make us feel that mixture of conflicted and guilty but somewhat satisfied. We’ll wake up the next morning with a distant uneasy feeling still lingering— something isn’t right. But in the back of our minds, we’ll crave it again. And then we’ll consider another decision: whether to chase the feeling once more or to channel our energy into something more productive……..what a crazy cycle our minds put us through. It’s funny to think about it; it’s strange to try to break down why we do this to ourselves.

Something causes us to keep running back. It’s so automatic. It seems that, as humans, we love the chase. The problem is that everyone gets tired of running at some point.

Our souls and bodies are always chasing after something. Constantly. Even in stillness and in our quietest moments, our hearts always throb (faintly, at times) with longing. Maybe it’s just a matter of changing the things we choose to chase after. We could find a way to chase things that steadily result in restoration, instead of things that inevitably lead to destruction……

What kinds of things have you been chasing?

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This post was inspired by one of my favourite songs: “Cigarettes” by a guy named Noah Gundersen. Check out my cover of the song here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nONA0ymNzhc

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