ONLINE DATING SUCKS!! ~ So here are some tips :)

Summer 2019 has FINALLY arrived! The sun is shining, patios are open, birds are singing, convertibles are touching the roads. And you know what else is poppin’? I see people catching fresh trims and haircuts, getting ready to create new profiles for this season’s online flings! It’s funny that online dating is still something most people try to keep “undercover”— as if it’s not as mainstream as it truly is. I’ve spoken to tons of people about their experiences— female/male/young/old/recently single/been single for a long time/looking for something casual/looking for something long-term. The most common reaction I get from people, is: “UGHH I HATE IT. ONLINE DATING SUCKS. EVERYONE SUCKS. WHY CAN’T I FIND ANYONE NORMAL?”

Logically speaking, if everyone hates it because everyone is weird…… then either the majority of the 6 million people in the GTA (Greater Toronto Area) are complete wackos (I’m not ruling this out yet haha), OR— we are simply not doing a great job of presenting ourselves on such platforms.

Creating profiles is tedious, especially when we know how harshly we’ll be scrutinized before the chance to match with or even speak to anyone. Messaging strangers is nerve-wracking. Actually meeting up with someone is an anxiety attack waiting to happen— at least for me it is! I think the real issue is that most people are afraid to be themselves, so they opt for a lazily put-together profile; or, people put tons of effort into their profiles but are afraid to actually message anyone. OR--- People just straight up lie about themselves! The fear of rejection is so real.

To help all of you lovely people succeed this summer (or at least have a slightly less-terrible time online), I’ve prepared 5 quick tips that may help some sparks fly!

1. PHOTOS - BUT WHERE ARE YOU THOUGH??

The first thing we see on someone’s profile is their photos. How is it that we either cannot see you, or that we legitimately don’t know which person you are, out of the 5 group photos with 3 people or more? And the mirror selfies with the phone and arm covering your entire face…… Those have got to stop. Please— PLEASE lol— get a friend to take a photo of you. Just one. AT LEAST ONE. I understand that some people are just trying to show off their amazing bodies— but still. It would be nice to know what’s attached to that body…..

2. BE ORIGINAL

Please, everyone— STOP talking about pineapples on pizza, Elon Musk, and pretending to be employed at Dunder Mifflin. Nobody cares. Come up with something to say about yourself which actually reflects your life and your interests!!

3. SENDING THE FIRST MESSAGE

It’s interesting how much the fear of rejection plays into this one. With the exception of Bumble (where ladies must send the first msg)— I am amazed by the number of people who complain they “can’t meet anyone” meanwhile they refuse to ever send the first message. Be brave, people!! We are dealing with complete strangers here. What do we have to lose?? If you send a message and the other person isn’t feeling it, then so be it! You can continue your life, unharmed. Take a risk! On the contrary, if you send a message and the other person turns out to be a complete creep, well then— thankfully, the “UNMATCH” button is right there, ready to rescue you :) The first message isn’t the big deal we make it out to be. Here are some suggestions: Comment on something unique about their profile. Ask how their day has been…. Or: Just say hello— the conversation will naturally flow if it’s meant to.

4. BE HONEST

As evidenced by the MTV show “Catfish” becoming a huge hit……(well, other than the scandalous claims/questionable content, but ANYWAY)…..Being honest, as a general concept in life, is a tall order for some people. Therefore, requesting someone to be honest on such platforms may be asking for too much— but, think about it: Regardless of what you’re looking for in a relationship/summer fling/potential friend/travel buddy/life partner, you don’t want to spend way too much effort and a perfectly good Friday night on something that clearly isn’t going to work. So, why not be real from the get-go and save other people, as well as yourself, from wasting our valuable time.

5. SPELLING ERRORS IN YOUR PROFILE

I truly have nothing to say about this other than: Really though? Lol.

The last thing I’ll leave you with is this: Online dating is great, and I've seen tons of success stories, but--- it truly isn’t an accurate representation of real life. I can’t think of any life setting (perhaps with the exception of speed-dating) where we have the chance to swipe through insane numbers of people in a short time, judging them on whatever whimsical definitions of beauty/desire we’ve crafted in our minds at that moment. Online dating is fun and has potential to lead to genuine, meaningful connections, but don’t let it replace all of your true human interactions! Go out with friends! Join a club/sports team! Go outside and say hi to people! Having audible, in-person conversations will help you sharpen your skills for when you do actually end up going out on that date or finally meeting that person you’ve been texting.

Wishing everyone good luck out there this summer!

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As always, thanks for reading! Feel free to drop a comment below— I’d love to hear from you. Especially if you have some more dating advice for me haha :)